Keister Meister was found as a baby in a slurry pit overlooking Loch Ness. His parentage is uncertain but some believe he is the bastard offspring of the local vicar and a Peruvian one-legged budgerigar named Jacqueline Dilworth Patterson. KM's early years were uneventful, but then he discovered his instrument and began to play with it in earnest. Cast out of his village for practising rooster worship, KM eventually found a place where he belonged - Wolverhampton. If you're unfortunate enough to be visiting Wolverhampton town centre, you can often see KM there, pestering pigeons for change.